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Our data suggest that men send nearly 4 times as many first messages as women and conduct about twice the match searches.

Thus, to examine how the problem of ghost profiles affects the men on pay dating sites is to examine their effect on the whole system.

When people look for love, they want as many options as possible.

However, as I've shown above, the image these sites project is deceiving. That's obviously false, but I did it to be as generous as possible to Match. If we want to make the same comparison for e Harmony, since their site is so much more focused on matrimony, we really should get a more realistic marriage rate for the nation as a whole.

As a founder of Ok Cupid I'm of course motivated to point out our competitors' flaws.

So take what I have to say today with a grain of salt.

To get sign-ups, they need to pull in new people, and they do this by getting you to message their prospects.

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Let's look at how the pay sites acquire new subscribers: As you can see from the flow chart, the only way they make money is to show subscribers to other subscribers.

But I intend to show, just by doing some simple calculations, that pay dating is a bad idea; actually, won't be showing this so much as the pay sites themselves, because most of the data I'll use is from Match and e Harmony's own public statements.

I'll list my sources at the bottom of the post, in case you want to check. If your goal is to find someone special, 20 million people is a lot of options—roughly a quarter of all singles in the U. This sounds awesome until you realize that most of these people can’t reply, because only paying customers are allowed to message.

So he expands his criteria, cuts, pastes, and resends.

In no time, the average woman on the same site has been bombarded with impersonal messages from a random cross-section of men. This is from Match's 2009 presskit: Okay, Match is double counting to get "12 couples", since a couple that gets married also gets engaged.

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